Having things come easy... Will it make life hard?
I don't know if it was from turning 30 or just from watching years pass without making changes to my kitchen, but lately I've been learning a huge lesson. I wanted to share it with you in case there is someone out there who needs to learn the same lesson or might be feeling the same way.
Since I was a child, I have been fortunate enough to have things come easy. I always got good grades, without putting in much work. I was a pretty good dancer, without rehearsing much outside of class, besides stretching in front of the tv maybe. My mom (my amazing mom) did so much for us kids and we barely helped her out at home, really only if she left us a sticky note asking us to empty the dishwasher. As an adult now, I can only imagine the struggles my mom was going through raising 3 kids while working full time and doing all of the housework herself. It breaks my heart a million times thinking how much I could have helped her in those times. And even still! She continues to support all 3 of us in so many ways. I hope to make it up to her through the rest of life. No I don't hope, I will.
In high school, I found jobs. I made friends, sometimes on my own, many times through friends. As I got older, I received a full ride to college, ended up with an awesome roommate on day one, went on dates, and arrived safely at home after long nights. Then I was accepted into almost all of the graduate schools I applied for, was fortunate enough to have great roommates and friends who would lend me money if I was waiting for my student loan payment to disburse, boyfriends who could foot the bill for fancy dinners in the city. I almost found hardship when looking for a job outside after grad school, but was lucky enough to find one near my mom's house that was exactly what I was looking for. Even picking up languages has come fairly easy. I have benefited from almost all of the privileges in the book.
I remember one time I was talking to my older brother around when I was just graduating from high school. We were talking about people having luck in their lives. I told him that I've had a very lucky life. He then commented, "Well, you have a disease that has no cure and you will have to take pills forever. That's not lucky." (I'm pretty sure he's a pessimist.) But I hadn't even thought about that honestly. One might say that the lesson learned here is that if you are optimistic, you will receive great things...
But that's not the lesson today.
I've had a very nice life, aside from the chronic disease thing, though I've never been hospitalized for it. My life has been blessed you might say. So what's the problem?
I'm sure you're sick of reading all of the wonderful things I've been able to enjoy in my life, so this is where I tell you about what I'm learning now, with the help of my kitchen story.
Being a homeowner has taught me a lot of things. I could write a whole post on just that honestly. But recently, one thing has been bothering me considerably.
I have been "trying" to renovate my kitchen for at least 2 years. It is almost done. All that's remaining is the backsplash and paint, with some decorative touches. I have been looking at this kitchen for so long, unfinished, with the backsplash that I've purchased sitting on the counter, and I have been wondering, what is the real reason why this is not done?
Is it because my boyfriend is not the handyman type? I mean, that could be part of it, but it's really not his responsibility to fix up my house. Is it because I don't have the money to finish the project? Well not really, because it's almost done. Then why?
It's because I won't put in the work.
There could be several underlying reasons for this. I might be scared, I might really think I'm going to do it wrong, or I might just not have the physical/mental energy for it. (That last one is the best excuse.) Maybe there's some other underlying psychological process happening related to completing projects on my own? I don't know.
But guess what?
It won't get done unless I put in the work.
Even if that means calling multiple people until I find someone that will come and do the job. Even if it means watching 10 Youtube videos about doing backsplash before doing it. Even if it means asking someone for help to get me started if I don't want to bother them to do it with me. This does not have to be a huge thing, I just have to do it.
But this is not just about backsplash. This is about life. These things are not getting done, because I'm just not doing them, and no one will do them for me. It is up to me.
Your life is what you put into it. "You reap what you sow," as they say. You may slide by for awhile, as I have, but are you really living your most fulfilled life? Are you really taking advantage of all you could accomplish in this time that you have?
I can apply this to learning languages as well. I want to learn 5 languages, but it is not just going to happen by playing on an app 5 minutes a day. While I might recognize a good bit of vocabulary, I won't be able to use it. I actually have to put in the time, effort, and maybe money to schedule lessons or conversations with native speakers and ACTUALLY SPEAK the language.
I am recognizing the need for this mindset in so many aspects of my life.
If I want to run a 5k, I have to ACTUALLY run 2-3x a week to train.
If I want to excel at my job, I have to ACTUALLY create new ideas, activities, plans, supports, and engage with co-workers and families.
If I want to have a clutter-free house, I have to ACTUALLY put things away EVERY DAY!
If I want to make a lot of money so I can travel and retire early, I have to ACTUALLY do things that will make money.
If I want to have a healthy body and mind, I have to ACTUALLY keep a stock of vegetables, cook every day, and take time for meditation and sleep.
Today in church, the pastor was talking about how if you feel like you haven't discovered your special gifts from God or you haven't found your calling yet, that it may be because you aren't ready. You're not willing to put in the time, money, or effort to use those gifts yet, so you haven't received them. Whatever religion you follow, I believe this idea has truth, and it could lead to amazing things.
After 30 years, I look back and reflect on my life and what I could have accomplished by this time, and I feel that I have not seized all of the opportunities that have presented themselves. I have not recognized or engaged in moments where a small bit of time or effort could have lead to a great triumph, for myself, or for others. I imagine how many things I could have created, achieved, improved, discovered... and how many lives this could have impacted.
Life may open doors for you, but you have to actually walk through them. You may have to take the stairs if the elevator is broken. Will you?
Since I was a child, I have been fortunate enough to have things come easy. I always got good grades, without putting in much work. I was a pretty good dancer, without rehearsing much outside of class, besides stretching in front of the tv maybe. My mom (my amazing mom) did so much for us kids and we barely helped her out at home, really only if she left us a sticky note asking us to empty the dishwasher. As an adult now, I can only imagine the struggles my mom was going through raising 3 kids while working full time and doing all of the housework herself. It breaks my heart a million times thinking how much I could have helped her in those times. And even still! She continues to support all 3 of us in so many ways. I hope to make it up to her through the rest of life. No I don't hope, I will.
In high school, I found jobs. I made friends, sometimes on my own, many times through friends. As I got older, I received a full ride to college, ended up with an awesome roommate on day one, went on dates, and arrived safely at home after long nights. Then I was accepted into almost all of the graduate schools I applied for, was fortunate enough to have great roommates and friends who would lend me money if I was waiting for my student loan payment to disburse, boyfriends who could foot the bill for fancy dinners in the city. I almost found hardship when looking for a job outside after grad school, but was lucky enough to find one near my mom's house that was exactly what I was looking for. Even picking up languages has come fairly easy. I have benefited from almost all of the privileges in the book.
I remember one time I was talking to my older brother around when I was just graduating from high school. We were talking about people having luck in their lives. I told him that I've had a very lucky life. He then commented, "Well, you have a disease that has no cure and you will have to take pills forever. That's not lucky." (I'm pretty sure he's a pessimist.) But I hadn't even thought about that honestly. One might say that the lesson learned here is that if you are optimistic, you will receive great things...
But that's not the lesson today.
I've had a very nice life, aside from the chronic disease thing, though I've never been hospitalized for it. My life has been blessed you might say. So what's the problem?
I'm sure you're sick of reading all of the wonderful things I've been able to enjoy in my life, so this is where I tell you about what I'm learning now, with the help of my kitchen story.
Being a homeowner has taught me a lot of things. I could write a whole post on just that honestly. But recently, one thing has been bothering me considerably.
I have been "trying" to renovate my kitchen for at least 2 years. It is almost done. All that's remaining is the backsplash and paint, with some decorative touches. I have been looking at this kitchen for so long, unfinished, with the backsplash that I've purchased sitting on the counter, and I have been wondering, what is the real reason why this is not done?
Is it because my boyfriend is not the handyman type? I mean, that could be part of it, but it's really not his responsibility to fix up my house. Is it because I don't have the money to finish the project? Well not really, because it's almost done. Then why?
It's because I won't put in the work.
There could be several underlying reasons for this. I might be scared, I might really think I'm going to do it wrong, or I might just not have the physical/mental energy for it. (That last one is the best excuse.) Maybe there's some other underlying psychological process happening related to completing projects on my own? I don't know.
But guess what?
It won't get done unless I put in the work.
Even if that means calling multiple people until I find someone that will come and do the job. Even if it means watching 10 Youtube videos about doing backsplash before doing it. Even if it means asking someone for help to get me started if I don't want to bother them to do it with me. This does not have to be a huge thing, I just have to do it.
But this is not just about backsplash. This is about life. These things are not getting done, because I'm just not doing them, and no one will do them for me. It is up to me.
Your life is what you put into it. "You reap what you sow," as they say. You may slide by for awhile, as I have, but are you really living your most fulfilled life? Are you really taking advantage of all you could accomplish in this time that you have?
I can apply this to learning languages as well. I want to learn 5 languages, but it is not just going to happen by playing on an app 5 minutes a day. While I might recognize a good bit of vocabulary, I won't be able to use it. I actually have to put in the time, effort, and maybe money to schedule lessons or conversations with native speakers and ACTUALLY SPEAK the language.
I am recognizing the need for this mindset in so many aspects of my life.
If I want to run a 5k, I have to ACTUALLY run 2-3x a week to train.
If I want to excel at my job, I have to ACTUALLY create new ideas, activities, plans, supports, and engage with co-workers and families.
If I want to have a clutter-free house, I have to ACTUALLY put things away EVERY DAY!
If I want to make a lot of money so I can travel and retire early, I have to ACTUALLY do things that will make money.
If I want to have a healthy body and mind, I have to ACTUALLY keep a stock of vegetables, cook every day, and take time for meditation and sleep.
Today in church, the pastor was talking about how if you feel like you haven't discovered your special gifts from God or you haven't found your calling yet, that it may be because you aren't ready. You're not willing to put in the time, money, or effort to use those gifts yet, so you haven't received them. Whatever religion you follow, I believe this idea has truth, and it could lead to amazing things.
After 30 years, I look back and reflect on my life and what I could have accomplished by this time, and I feel that I have not seized all of the opportunities that have presented themselves. I have not recognized or engaged in moments where a small bit of time or effort could have lead to a great triumph, for myself, or for others. I imagine how many things I could have created, achieved, improved, discovered... and how many lives this could have impacted.
Life may open doors for you, but you have to actually walk through them. You may have to take the stairs if the elevator is broken. Will you?
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